Making room for new things

Making room for new things

They say to let go of things, to make room for new things to come into your life.

Things I have let go of this year:

  1. The Wild Social Media Business. I’ve had this business since I lived in Austin, in 2010. I thought that I wanted to teach people how to be successful online. I thought that social media was more benign than it actually is. I thought that social media could help people make more sales. I thought that organic conversations online could create relationships. As the social media space got more mature, I realized that everything I thought was wrong. I now believe that social media is a complete waste of time for most people in business terms. I believe that any content you put on these platforms is simply building up someone else’s business. I believe that social media invades people’s privacy.
  2. A friend of 10 years. She decided she didn’t like the way I gave her presents. I am really glad she let go of this friendship. It has opened up a lot of time, energy and joy for me.
  3. An old on-again, off-again relationship. What I feel bothered me most about this person was that he simply would not follow through. And then he wouldn’t take responsibility for where he was in life, financially. So, I’m glad that is over, so I have a lot more time, energy, and joy for myself and others.   I also let go of a bunch of STUFF from this relationship. Trash.
  4. Doing business with the government. I did a lot of presentations and workshops and webinars for government over the last 7 years with this business. I presented for the Washington State SBDC, the Oregon SBDC, the National SBA, the IRS, Multnomah County, Metro, the City of Portland and the City of Austin. What I got increasingly, was people asking me to do presentations for free because “exposure!” Don’t make me laugh. People die of exposure.  I’m finally ready to shut it down, because it never really made me money, despite the time and effort I poured into it. The government partnerships were so hard to get for so little money that it just was not worth it for me. I have had much greater success with WildWomanFundraising.
  5. A cute felt unicorn I made. I was showing it to my brother M, and he just took it. I decided to let it go. I can always make another one.
  6. The concept that my business success will be a linear upward trajectory. It definitely hasn’t been. Especially this year. What this has made me realize is how much I need to build a business pipeline, that a big list is not enough if I’m not actively engaging with my biggest fans, consistently. And that I can build a pipeline-and E is going to help me do this. This is going to set me up for success for months and years to come.
  7. My ideas about where I thought I would be by now, financially, emotionally. I really thought I would be further along financially right now. But I was with someone who sucked my money and energy dry for years, so that is why this happened. That was a choice I made. I should have been with a different person. I know better now.
  8. Perfectionism around doing 750 words every day. I did this for one month, so that I could get the 50,000 words NANOWRIMO badge, and then I stopped being so perfectionist about it. It doesn’t really matter.
  9. A consultant who wasn’t serving me. He went to Thailand and didn’t do his job. I paid him off and let him go. I learned from this that if people are in another country, don’t expect them to do any work.
  10. Weekly acupuncture. I really liked doing this with my friend, and I may go back to it. But in the meantime, I am doing self massage and that works for me.
  11. The idea that yoga is healthy. As it turns out, a lot of people get injuries from yoga, when teachers don’t help students pay attention to their own limits. So I haven’t gone to yoga much lately and I am actually totally okay with that.
  12. The idea that I can tell people how to be happy. I always have these new things- like myofascial release, or working with a health coach, or a new way of eating, or a new concept to share. Asking questions is a way better method to do this.  I’ve been reading about what the right questions to ask are-and sharing them with others.
  13. Trying to help people who don’t want to be helped. This was a huge lesson for me. I want to be helpful. But I need to wait for people to ask me to help them. Giving unasked for help doesn’t help people. Then they feel weird that you give to them more than they give to you.
  14. A friend who doesn’t make any effort to hang out with me. He has been drifting away steadily for the last couple of years-I know he’s in financial trouble-but he doesn’t come to me for help getting a job. I feel sorry for him. But I refuse any longer to be friends with people who don’t make the effort to be friends with me.
  15. Trying to promote my e-courses all the time. I would much rather promote my membership program, so that everyone can get access to these.
  16. My extremely opinionated poetry teacher. He died. But before that I wasn’t really in contact with him, because he took my money and didn’t do any work, then simply snarled for more money. I mean, COME ON man. So, I think of him, because he did shape a lot of how I know how to edit, and my ideas around what writing is good, and what writing is not, but I’m looking forward to letting go of more and more of what he taught me. Because I need to find my own way with this. i have been writing more poetry this year. And I’m excited to publish another chapbook this year, all by myself.
  17. All of my Terry Pratchett books. I’ve read them so many times that I basically memorized them all. I gave them to someone who is enjoying them now, and who is going to make a little tiny library for them outside her house. That doesn’t mean I don’t have guilty pleasure books stashed next to my bed. You know I do. Harry Potter. The Steig Larrsen books. But, I’ve decided that’s okay for now. I’ll let go of these books too in awhile. Just finished reading a bunch of Raymond Chandler short stories-and those feel like a guilty pleasure too.

What has this let in more room for?

  1. Making a lot more art. I love the art time I’m making now, even if I don’t exactly love the art I’m making. That’s ok.
  2. New experiences and Dates with interesting people. This is what I’m going to expand on in the later part of the year. I want to have people take me out for fun activities. Let’s see what happens!
  3. Asking for help. Admitting you have needs of your own is hard- but this year I have been learning. I have asked for help from a number of people, and they have given me really good advice, and promised to help me, and some of them really have helped me.
  4. New friends like C! I love hanging out with her, and eating, and making art, and introducing her to my other friends.
  5. Helping my friend I. get elected, at last. This feels like such an accomplishment. I just see her as the future. And I want to help more women like her.
  6. Talking about business with a bunch of new people-B, V, S, M, E, K. If you are the average of the 5 people you hang out with the most, then I am doing really well when it comes to them!
  7. Redesigning my business website. It looks so much more modern and clean now. And I have been getting more inquiries about my consulting with this site.
  8. Getting a bunch of professional photographs done, for the first time ever. And gosh they look good! And they make my website and social media look good too. I’m happy I did this, even though it was so expensive.
  9. Learning how to do FB ads myself
  10. Hiring someone else to help me a bit with FB ads-I like her.
  11. SuperSlow workouts that help me gain muscle without wasting time. I really love how I’m gaining muscle now, even though I’ve had to give away a couple of shirts that I liked because my arms are too big to fit into them now.
  12. Having art parties once a month and seeing different friends there. It’s such a fun way to spend time with people, and enjoy their creativity. I much prefer making art around other people than making it alone. They always inspire me.
  13. Creating new presentations around the things I’m interested in now-Trust, Leadership, Failure, and the Future. Not leaning on my old presentations anymore.
  14. Reading 100+ books on a variety of topics, fiction, business, marketing, non-fiction-and sharing them with people.
  15. Delving into video interviews-testing it. So far I’ve done 10 of these–enjoying the experience of having a face to face conversation with people I usually talk on the phone with, only. And allowing other people to get the advantage of these conversations as well.
  16. Taking a scammy experience and learning from it– using their words for good. hee hee hee.

I got the sweetest thank you note today!

It says, Wow Mazarine! Your 2017 Conference was amazing! Thank you for creating the Fundraising Career Conference. Because of the amazing presentations you have inspired me to think hard about the type of nonprofit culture I need to be a successful fundraiser. as I progress in my career, your teachings will stay with me. Please… Continue Reading

On the death of my teacher, Larry Fagin

I should have prepared this ages ago. I knew my teacher was in hospice. but for some reason, I didn’t. maybe because I felt so weird about the whole thing. My teacher, Larry Fagin had cancer of the esophagus that spread to his lymph nodes, groin, and bones. He was diagnosed two years ago. Larry Fagin died… Continue Reading